Directive Therapy Approach
Asian-Americans: Never American?
My SoundCloud audio commentary on this story
In the Asian-American experience, there will be times when you are disregarded as a true American. In this particular case, it gets even worse as the Chicago police officers in this raid physically hit her and verbally abuse her despite her stance that she is a citizen.
Here’s a transcript of what was caught on camera:
Police officer: You’re not f—— American! I’ll put you in a UPS box and send you back to wherever the f— you came from!
Klyzek: I’m a citizen, OK?
Police officer: No you’re not! No, you’re not a citizen! No, you’re not! No, you’re not! Continue Reading
Asian Shame Presentation
“You’re Selfish!”: The Building Block of Shame
In my therapy practice, I’ve noticed that the word “selfish” is routinely used by parents (Asian or otherwise) as a way of manipulating or guilt-tripping their children to act or behave in certain way.
In my therapy practice, I’ve noticed that the word “selfish” is routinely used by parents (Asian or otherwise) as a way of manipulating or guilt-tripping their children to act or behave in a certain way. This is the essence of shame.
So let’s break it down. When a parent says, “You’re selfish” the parent is communicating something to this effect: “You (the child) want something I don’t want, and you don’t seem to care that I don’t want it. You care more about what you want than you do about what I want, and that means you’re bad. The word for this particular kind of badness is ‘selfish.'”
But unfortunately, this type of labeling leads to what I believe is a core negative self image or feeling of “I’m bad person” or “There’s something wrong with me for having these thoughts or desires”. The shaming done over a childhood leads adults with a very distorted sense of who they are as individuals.
