Struggling with Sex: The Problem with Porn
When clients come into therapy for sex addiction treatment, some have reached a point where they have no sense of normalcy. What is healthy and normal when it comes to issues of masturbation? What about pornography?
Without dictating my world view on clients, I can tell you that many young people are struggling with sex because of their increased exposure (and use) to pornography. What may have started off as a periodic activity has become so compulsive, they would rather masturbate to pornography than be sexually intimate with their spouses.
With the men that I see, it’s not uncommon for those in their 30’s to start showing signs of erectile dysfunction. Some even go so far as to get prescriptions to Viagra, hoping it will bring about arousal with their partners. Unfortunately, the medication only makes things worse as they can become dependent on it for sex.
It’s not until therapy that clients recognize and acknowledge that masturbation and pornography has impacted their sexual template to the point where they can’t achieve arousal with their spouses. Once a period of sexual sobriety (i.e. celibacy period of masturbation, pornography, and sex with spouse) sets in, many get better. While the titillation they felt for new and varied sexual images wanes, their attraction to their significant others begins to grow. It’s not quite as linear as this but from the client’s perspective, they learn that their previous struggles with sex with their spouse often was tied to their brain’s excessive need for more novel and stimulating material which over the course of time, numbs them to their desires for their partners.
